For the Criminally Inane

Went to see Ally Carter at the county library last night dressed as Gallagher Girls (me, my friend and my daughter). She was awesome! Got free key chains. Love those freebies. She said my hubby's Blackthorn t-shirt was her favorite. I mean, it's not every tour that she meets a guy so in love with his wife that he will consent to wearing a t-shirt for a school that exists only in YA chick lit! Ally was friendly, personable, and speaks with a charming slight Midwest accent. She is touring and signing as her new book Uncommon Criminals has come out this month. I waited, ever so patiently to buy it from Puddnhead Books (an indy bookshop that helps fund author tours.) We went an hour early, hoping for good seats. I took a friends' daughter's book for her to get signed. So she said she didn't tell anyone at her day job that she was writing until she was published. She didn't want to be one of those writers that talked and never wrote. I was so ashamed...

I think I'll wait and post pictures tonight!!

Now that I'm happily married and I no longer have to worry about how to deal with dating, I found a new problem has arisen: making female friends. It's like I'm back at the dating stage only it's with girls instead of guys and instead of hashing with my roommates, I'm hashing with my husband. Typical Conversation at my house: "She said to call her sometime this week," I say to my hubby as I unload sippies from the dishwasher. "When should I call her? Is today too early?" "Call her," says my husband, sweeping the floor. "But will that look too stalkerish, if I call her the day after she says to call?" "No. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear from you." He bends to sweep up the pile. "I just don't want to appear over-anxious and therefore needy. Nothing scares away friends more than needy." He empties the dustpan into the trash, banging it on the side to make sure it all comes out. ...

Girls want to read books about girls like themselves. So why do all the agents say they want stories with a strong female protagonist? I understand from a plotting point of view that a girl who's making decisions and going places is much more interesting to read about. But then I think of Bella. Why was she so effective? First she was coupled with a vampire. Let's face it, Edward is the star of the show, right? But Meyer does something interesting, whether intentional or not--Bella is every girl. Who hasn't felt stupid, clutzy, even the cheerleaders. (See True Story below.) It's like the reader morphs into Bella, she disappears. We are living the story. True Story: I sat next to a girl in high school in one of my classes. She was toned, she was tanned, she was, in a word, H-O-T. Ok, that was three letters. Her hair was high lighted, her nails were done. I never saw her wear the same thing twice. Plus, she hung out with all the popular crowd aka "...

So, I read this article stating five signs a relationship might be over because I love reading news about relationships, wondering if there is any truth to them. So I clicked on this article about the five signs and laughed. One of the signs it maybe be over is one of the partners losing weight and getting into shape. Why is that funny? Because for me, if this were true, my husband would worry every time I have a baby and obsess over loosing the baby weight. (#3 baby is one and I still have ten pounds to go!) It's not because I'm playing the field or even looking around. (I've been happily married almost 9 years now, and with three kids in tow--you don't leave that easily!) I just want to get my pre-baby body back! But maybe it's different for guys. Maybe I should worry when my husband folds down his Bowflex, and pumps up the bike tires in the morning. Is he trying to tone up for the next relationship? When he works out, I must say, he is one handsome...

If you're looking to read the first three pages of SWISS MISS, here's your chance! Sample Pages Okay, now's the time to hear from you. What do you women want in a male protagonist? Here are some of my favorite heroes from my favorite books: 1. Mr. Darcy, the rich powerful, stoic, but handsome man who loves the heroine even though she treats him like dirt. 2. Rhett Butler, also rich, but he and Scarlet have some funky chemistry. He wants her and will stop at nothing to get her. (Then leaves her in the end. Eek, I hope that wasn't a spoiler for anyone!) 3. Wesley aka Farmboy aka the Dread Pirate Roberts, he will survive anything for true love, torture, ROUSes, fireswamp. He comes back to life to save her, even if she did leave him in the fireswamp. Swashbuckling comedy. You get the idea. So what do you want? Sexy? Goofy? Funky chemistry? Emotional connection? Does he have to be rich? Powerful? Must he love the female protagonist, pine for her? Tell me your...

So many people have suggested since I've told them I've written a book that I should e-pub. Lots of reasons to go with e-publishing, you get to keep all your own rights, you don't have to pay any percentage of the profits to agents or editors, immediate and world-wide distribution. But there are some good reasons to go the traditional route of getting an agent and trying to traditionally publish. I thought I'd write a post about why I'm going the way of the good ol' glue and paper publishing. Reasons below: 1. I don't know enough people. If I were famous or already had a team of marketing geniuses on my payroll, I'd totally go e-pub. But truth be told, it's easy to get lost in the sea of e-pub when nobody has heard of you/heard of your book. 2. Having an agent is like having a real estate agent, yes, you can sell your house without one, but how long would it take you? 3. I'm self absorbed. I'd like to see my name in print. 4. I like ...

No, I didn't read I Am Four. I started writing my fourth novel. It's about a girl who meets this guy... Hey, isn't that how all my stories go? My next novel after this one will be a YA fantasy. I promise I will deviate from my formula just a bit. After writing 14,000 words in this new story, I noticed that, as in Swiss Miss, my main character girl faints with hunger. I'm like, what is that all about? As the king says in the Richard Chamberlain Slipper and the Rose, "All girls faint, they know it's expected of them." Working on a query letter to send to Sara Megibow of Nelson literary agency. I am having some friends read over my draft first, just to make sure it's all good. Just another thought. I read in one of my writing books that Isaac Asimov said that if a doctor gave him six minutes to live, he wouldn't slow down, he'd type faster. I sometimes feel the same way, a story begging to be told, that I wake in the night and take fur...

I'm in the process of self-teaching myself how to be a writer/how to get published. So, I started taking classes. My husband is okay with this because eighty bucks for a webinar is waaaaaaaaaay cheaper than spending twelve grand on a real estate seminar. (By the way gals, the best way to get what you want is to want something even more expensive first, when your husband balks, just say fine, I really want X [less expensive, more desired thing.] Works every time.) Anyway, back to my class. So, yet-to-be-published authors should have a website up and running and probably giving away free chocolate or something to attract hits. Hmmmm....not a bad idea. So I set up my website. Thought you guys might want to take a peek: http://ameyzeigler.com Aack! Did I just do that? I just posted my website. Ok, calm down. It's okay. Breathe, breathe. Also started a twitter account. Yup, you guessed it. @ameyzeigler Man, I'm glad I have a weird name. I can always get it...