Why nice guys finish last.

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A couple guys close to me are on the dating scene, in various stages--from getting dates, to regularly seeing someone to almost engaged. All of them are awesome guys, hard workers, great senses of humor, nice looking--even hot! (I can say that because none of them read this blog--alas, their one blemish!) Yet, they all struggle with one thing: nice-guy-itis. Yup. They are too nice. Wait, is that possible? Too nice? Some girls seem to think so, and I want to figure out why. For me, I like nice guys (I'm married to the supreme nice guy! Thanks for letting me go to London, hubbs!) but when I was dating I had a hard time crushing on one. Why? Nice guys treat you right, they open doors, listen to classical music, love their mothers, so why, why, WHY couldn't I like them? It's because nice guys are nice to everyone. It's hard to know if your crush is just being nice to you, like he is to everyone, or if he's interested. See, if a jerky guy is nice to you, you know he likes you. Plus there's no mystery. Nice guys don't seem to have deep, dark brooding pasts that make them dark and mysterious. Girls like mystery. Or maybe a better word, surprises. I loved it when I found out something cool about a guy I was interested in. I'm not saying all nice guys are boring--ha! Far from it. But the unexpected is exciting, and maybe the nice guys can loosen up a bit.

Comments

  1. Amy BOctober 20, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    Interesting perspective on why girls like bad boys . . . I'd never thought about that angle, that what we might be responding to is the ambiguity around the nice guy's intent. I also think girls are, perhaps foolishly, attracted to challenge of "converting" a bad boy. Every girl would like to think that a guy would love her so much that he would change his ways for her . . . this, unfortunately, I think is more often than not a fallacy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AZOctober 20, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    Yeah, I agree. I think I'll write a post on why girls like bad boys.

    ReplyDelete

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