For the Criminally Inane

I think one of my  most favorite things in the whole world is seeing a baby's face fresh and clean from a bath.  I love the shine of the cheeks, the eye lashes clumped together in an organic mascara.  I am so grateful I can stay home and enjoy the "little things" in life.  Honestly, I'm having a tear-jerking week and it's only Tuesday.  But I'm trying so hard to meet these challenges with faith and hope and not get bogged down by things out of my control.  Little things I'm grateful for today: --baby giggles --a toilet trained son --my son's smiles, they really do lift my day --the word REMEMBER. I love John Barry's quote:  God gave us memories so that we can have June roses in the December of our lives.  We all hit lows, we can all look back at the time when God has shown his mercy and remember that we are not alone. --Costco pizza, because that's what we're having for dinner tonight and I don't have to cook --compassion, becau...

Once when I was in college, I was at the high tide of a laundry pile and completely desperate for an outfit.  Buried in my drawer, was a pair of hand-me-down off-white corduroy pants, you know the kind with pleats in the front, that would make Kate Moss look obese.  I slid them on, silently praying not to run into the hot guy I had a crush on.  Well, it just so happens, that I did run into him and--get this!--he thought my cords were, ok, are you ready for this?  He thought they were s-e-x-x-y.  At the time, I thought he was kidding, as it was hard to take almost anything he said seriously and eventually I got rid of the pants.  Years later, I was telling my hubby this story and he agreed with the then-crush.  What?  Cords are hot?  Really?  Cuz, like, I don't feel very hot in them.  Maybe it's the extra millimeters of fabric on the my thighs (where I least need bulk) or maybe it's the swishing sound they make when I walk.  Eve...

I was talking to a friend of mine who asked me to give him recommendations for a Valentine's Gift for his girlfriend of a few months. Honestly, I couldn't come up with a single good answer. Flowers die, jewelery is too generic (unless it's a ring with a huge rock on it), chocolate makes her fat. I know what I want, a clean house and not having to do it. Since I'm obviously not the typical romantic girl (I like getting power tools), I decided to compile a list of the cheesiest Valentine's Day gifts you could give. Feel free to use any of these ideas. Lighter fluid and a card that says "Baby, you light my fire." Perfume (It says: I think you stink, you should smell like Paris Hilton instead) Un-mild Salsa (then you can call her hot lips) Matches (for next year, maybe she won't remember the lighter fluid from this year) Music with cheesy love songs: Whitney Houston "I Will Always Love You," and "Nothing's Going To Stop Us Now...

Since I am 110% sure that none of my single guy friends read this blog, this post will be utterly wasted. But I have to talk about something that not very many guys are aware of. Here is my little nugget of womanly wisdom: Girls want mystery. While they may say they want honesty, forthrightness in a man, what they really wants is to be driven mad playing "He-loves-me, he-loves-me-not" with a daisy. Careful, it's a delicate balance between putting a girl off and inviting her to stay interested. See, most of the guys I know are too cut and dry, black and white. If he likes a girl, he lets her know, obviously, blatantly, and then wonders why she's running away. She can't possibly know at this point whether she even likes him or not, but she's turned off because of potential relationship overload. Instead he needs to entice, intrigue and ignore--yes, I said ignore--not too much, mind you, just enough to keep her interested. Guys, if you can master this, uh,...

I've been thinking about the dating relationship again, I think because, as I have mentioned before, I have several friends in the dating stage of life. What a great stage! So full of possibilities, but so many choices. But when it comes to making decisions of whom to marry, it can be daunting. If you are lucky, there are so many good choices out there. Shifting through the better and best choices can be like navigating through Costco on a Saturday afternoon, painful but necessary. There are some obviously bad choices. Those make life easy. I dated a guy who repeatedly called me fat. (In case you don't know I weigh 116 dripping wet--that's pounds not kilos!) That one, I let go without so much as a tear or a sniffle. But I dated some really awesome guys. One had chrome skull gear shifts in his custom souped up Nissan pick up truck he used for "roading" and turning "broadies."* He was a TON of fun!! He listened to Metallica and was reading the...

Yes, I'm back from my fabulous holiday abroad. It was an adventure filled with ten other bunkmates in a hostel room complete with a bit of culture clash, Boxing Day shopping, Tube strikes, Wicked, worship at the London Temple, Chunnel to Paris, lunch at Le Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, more shopping. I'll have to say, that after living sixteen months in Europe as a missionary, I had high expectations of being able to share some culture with my sister. I wanted to share food, travel, food, scenery, good food and people. I feel like even ten days was not enough to experience it all, to have an understanding of culture. A taste, yes, understanding no. I also found out that after ten years, my French stinks. My accent is gone and my vocab is so-so. It sufficed for a tourist, but that's all. Living in a country for many months was different than being a tourist. As a tourist, I was able to let my hair down, have fun, make fun memories. I am so grateful for my mission beca...

A few years ago, my hubby challenged me to read the first Twilight book. I took it with me on a flight and I did read the whole thing. Maybe it was because I'd already seen the movie, maybe it was my pride, but I couldn't get into it. It bored me. I decided I wasn't going to read anymore and be content consuming the content via the movies and that was that. Then, a few weeks ago, my friend lent me the rest of the series and told me to read it. I dunno, maybe I'm just one of those people that don't like to follow the crowd, or maybe I rebel against the band wagon, but I really didn't want to read it. But my friend appealed to cultural literacy. She argued that one should read the series just to know what ever one else is talking about. Agreed, I don't have a great deal of cultural literacy in pop culture, I don't watch TV or movies very often and when people were talking about "Lost" a few years ago, I felt it. There is merit to being ...