Top Five Words to Avoid for Deep POV
I just turned in my second romantic suspense. A sequel to my Baker's Dozen romantic suspense mystery. My editor sent me a guide of words to eliminate in my writing. Here are my top favorite to avoid.
If your point of view character saw something, just say what he saw.
Alan saw Margret brush a stray hair from her eyes.
Margret brushed a stray hair from her eyes.
If you are in your character's head, you rarely need to mention he thought something. We want to stay close to the writer's sensibilities, almost mimicking his thought.
Alan thought there had to be a better way than this.
There had to be a better way than this.
If you have to tell us she felt something, then it destroys the sense of closeness.
Margaret felt angry.
Margaret beat her fists against the wall.
If your character hears something, just say it. No need to tell us she heard it.
Margaret heard the coming footsteps in the hall.
Footsteps sounded in the hall.
Don't tell us she smelled it, tell us what the smell was.
Margaret smelled blood tinged with bleach.
Blood with a tinge of bleach reached her nose.
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