For the Criminally Inane

I was going to title this my Most Embarrassing Moment, but My Most Embarrassing Moment is a secret that I will never publish on-line.  Sorry.  It's going to stay safely between me and my journal and the other witnesses who shall remain nameless.  So this is my Second Most Embarrassing Moment. Actually, I should probably title this my Most Humiliating Moment because after doing years of weird plays in theatre, I don't embarrass easily--I do get humbled quite a bit.   Let me set the scene.  High school.  Small town.  County fair.  Singing contest. Yeah, you're cringing already aren't you.  My skin shivers at the memory.  My aunt is like a really great singer.  Not the break the glass kind of singer you see on stage or on Youtube.  She's a "Will you sing at Uncle Hershal's funeral?" type of singer.  Her music is full of soul.  And she's a great lady.  At least, I think her motives were pure when she convince...

I have a Facebook friend--let's call him Melvin Peabody, who knows how to be a good Facebook friend.  While most friendships deteriorate once the relationship hits "we're friends on Facebook" stage, Melvin's relationships thrive, grow and flourish on Facebook.  Though I barely knew him when I "friended" him years ago, I have gotten to know (and like) him even better.  How is that possible you ask?  Over the years, I've seen Melvin do something different than most people on Facebook, and what he does is easy to do and strengthens his relationships.  I'm going to share what I've learned from observing these simple tips that if you follow, you'll be a better friend on Facebook, too.  You'll go from being a simple observer of Facebook to building friendships on Facebook.  If you feel like you aren't making or maintaining friendships, try these simple changes. Rule One: "Like" stuff. "Liking" someone's stat...

I finally figured out what my plot for my novel is going to be.  Usually I figure it out after I've written twenty thousand words and I have to go back and rewrite major swaths.  But this time I figured it out after writing ten thousand words!  I think I'm getting better!  Yay!  Go me!  What is it about you ask?  Well I'll tell you.  It's about this girl and she meets this guy...  Okay so, all my stories are about building meaningful relationships, but something else has to go on as well.  My protag does have to have a life and interest outside of her romantic interest.  But I'm stuck on her name.  I don't have a name for her yet.  Any suggestions?  It needs to be slightly unique but not too weird.  And short.  I like short names.  Easier to type.  All right.  I guess that is all. 

My husband and I are contemplating laying down a month's worth of income for a piece of furniture.  Yes, we are buying a couch.  For the first time in our married history, we can buy furniture, real adult furniture, something I actually like and not just given to us, scrounged out of the trash or found at thrift store.  I didn't think it would be this hard.  Now, don't get me wrong, we both agree on style and color, but finding exactly what we want is harder than finding a movie we want to see. We ran into a little trouble when we started looking on-line.  How can you know if you like a couch by seeing it in a picture?  If you haven't sat on it, punched the pillows, lain supine to see if your feet hang off the end, how can you know if you like it, if it's comfortable?  You depend on reviews.  But only if the reviews are helpful. I clicked on a few reviews.  I was deeply disappointed.  Review after review written and I still have no m...

I've probably done a post on this before.  But I think I can't say it enough, writing is hard.  It's not the hardest thing I've ever done.  A few other examples come to my mind for that category: serving a foreign mission for my church for 18 months, rehabbing a house, raising three kids would top my list.  But nevertheless, writing is hard.  Sometimes I don't want to do it.  Sometimes I doubt myself, my characters, my plot.  I feel trite, cliche', hackneyed, shallow.  I feel like a fraud.  So why do I write when I could be scouring pinterest for the latest and greatest craft for my house?  Why do I write instead of getting a night shift job that I would actually get paid to do?  Because writing benefits me in so many ways. I learn patience.  I am so impatient.  Ask my husband.  I can't keep a secret, I snoop in Christmas presents, I want it and I want it yesterday.  Writing a novel takes a great deal of time, ...

My husband often reads over my writing and scrutinizes the male protagonist.  He asks, "Do you wish I did this?"  Or, "Should I be more like So and So (input hero's name here).  Let me just put one thing straight and let me be very clear!  I might even type this in all caps: WOMEN MAY LIKE TO READ ABOUT FICTIONAL MEN BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO MARRY THEIR FANTASIES!!! Just to drive my point home, I will chart things women (and by this I mean me and maybe a few other girls out there) want and find attractive in fictional men and then contrast it with real men, in real life.                                       *Motocycles:  For some reason, I think guys who drive motorcycles in books/movies are hot, reckless, mysterious.  It symbolizes a fast, free, and spontaneous lifestyle.  It's edgy and cool in a fictional guy.  BUT, I would have a cow if my hubby...

I've made an interesting observation lately.  We have so many ways to communicate Facebook messaging, phone, snail mail, email, Twitter, texting, so many in fact that it's becoming hard to communicate with people.  What? you say.  Doesn't that seem oxymoronic?  (My spell check says that's not a word, but I'm going to go with it.)  But listen to me.  Most people have a preferred method of communication, their habit.  I have one friend who said he only does Twitter--email, even texting is so passe for him.  If you want to communicate with him you better #bepreparedtotellthewholeworld.  My elderly friends all use their home phone, eschew email to perhaps a once a week activity (REALLY!) and don't text.  (You mean I have to dial a phone number to reach you?) The younger generation, I have no idea how best to communicate with them.  Do I leave a Facebook message?  Do you have a Facebook page?  Text?  Do your parents let yo...