Wednesday, January 25, 2012
For dating guys: How to let a girl know you are interested without driving her away.
Since I am 110% sure that none of my single guy friends read this blog, this post will be utterly wasted. But I have to talk about something that not very many guys are aware of. Here is my little nugget of womanly wisdom: Girls want mystery. While they may say they want honesty, forthrightness in a man, what they really wants is to be driven mad playing "He-loves-me, he-loves-me-not" with a daisy. Careful, it's a delicate balance between putting a girl off and inviting her to stay interested. See, most of the guys I know are too cut and dry, black and white. If he likes a girl, he lets her know, obviously, blatantly, and then wonders why she's running away. She can't possibly know at this point whether she even likes him or not, but she's turned off because of potential relationship overload. Instead he needs to entice, intrigue and ignore--yes, I said ignore--not too much, mind you, just enough to keep her interested. Guys, if you can master this, uh, let's call it craft, you'll be that much closer to understanding the female psyche. Girls want to wonder (ever heard of "rehashing?" That's where all the wondering is brought out amongst girlfriends to be inspected, poked, prodded, turned upside-down and understood like the entrails of a cadaver in med school.) So, what does this entail? It means, being more elusive. If she emails three get-to-know-you questions, only answer one of them, in fun, capricious detail. Don't respond systematically to all three. That's boring. If she only gets one questions answered, she starts to wonder, (and wonder in a girl is a good thing!) why didn't he answer the other two? Why did he pick that one to answer? Plus, this actually gives you more control; you get to pick which one you answer. You may say, yeah, but I don't like playing games. This isn't playing games, it's called strategic marketing, you are opening up to her a little at a time, letting her first see, say the playful side, reserving a little something for later. Try it. It may work for you.