Wednesday, November 9, 2011
One of my last good friends is moving this winter so you know what that means. I have to get out and make some new friends! I love making new friends. Friends are like handbags, you can never have too many. So, I thought I'd write myself a little tutorial about making friends. I should be an expert on this subject because I've moved nearly every two years in my youth and live in a high-turn-over area with lots of students, so I think I'm getting pretty good at it. First, smile a lot. Whether you are the new one or not, people like happy people, they're attracted to smiles. Why? Maybe people feel that if you're smiling you must be nice and nice people make great friends. Second, ask for and remember people's names. My hubby and I play this game at church to see who can remember the most new people's names. (I usually win, although he's got me a few times.) People like to be remembered and known. Third, ask people about themselves. This one took me years to learn. I still babble about myself, but usually when I'm trying to impress someone--waaaaaaay backwards. People like talking about themselves as a general rule. If you ask them questions about themselves, they usually know the answer. Try to ask questions that will give more than a yes or no answer unless you plan follow up questions that will bring out more. Try to avoid the old, "You like this...So to I...blah, me, blah, I...." Just ask follow up questions. (I'm still working on this one!) Fourth, do something for them. Or have them do something for you. Service is a great way to make a friend because you invest in them. But if they invest in you (just don't manipulate them into doing something for you, major friend turn off) then they will be more bonded to you. Fifth, time. Often, it takes time to make a really good friend and it requires that you spend time with them. This is essential whether you are single, married, have kids. Time is the water and feed for your friendship flower. Without it, it dies. Sometimes that requires sacrifice, so you have to ask yourself, if it's worth it. I hope it is.